Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
