How has he not realized you're pregnant?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game