Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.