I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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