forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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