Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
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I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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