everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
