YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
