Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
