Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
