1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
