did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize