happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize