the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
