He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
