We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
