Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
