I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize