If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
