i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
