I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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