Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize