Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
