respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
