Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's official drugs can't kill me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize