We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
