Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
