Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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