Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.

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(727): View more from Florida

I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick

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(586): View more from Michigan

We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.

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(915): View more from Texas

It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english

(915): View more from Texas

There was no door guy at the bar

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