Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.

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(716): View more from New York

speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms

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(627): View more from California

his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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(425): View more from Washington

its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.

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(850): View more from Florida

I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.

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(770): View more from Georgia

This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts

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