Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You are the jesus of drinking
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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