Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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