Porn is love you can see.
She said her name was "party"
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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