I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
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