I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
