So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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