I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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