Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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