i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
false alarm. still invincible.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
