he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
