a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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