"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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