My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
