just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
