Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
