No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
