i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
