I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ketchup is God's man juice
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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