I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
