I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
