he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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