i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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