we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You don't make any sense
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