there was a trapeze. enough said
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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