screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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