just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
