okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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