This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She announced her abortion via fbk
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
